The Missing Male Demographic

by Wil Johnson

Lost: One Male Demographic
Last Seen: Early 90′s
If Found, Please Contact: The Publishing Industry

Dear Publishing Industry,

While surfing this vast space known as the internet, I came across something that I believe once belonged to you. I recognized them because they seem to be very interested in technical books, science fiction, Manga, sex (both the how-to and erotica varieties), business and various other related genres. I believe you call them “The Male Demographic.”

It seems that they outgrew the centuries old dead-treehouse that you built for them, and have found a new place where they have been able to grow and flourish, a place that seems rather comfortable for them. They have had plenty of time to mark their territory, to revel in the possibilities of their new home, and have taken steps to make that home a place that is welcoming and pleasant. Now, I know they’ve visited the old dead-treehouse of yours on occasion, but it seems that they’ve felt neglected since you continued your publishing energies in the old house, rather than visiting them in the new, roomier, digital house.

Despite your neglect, they are still very loyal. So loyal, in fact, that they go through great efforts to preserve and share their love for the written word. They do this despite the fact that many of the books they pass around can’t be found in digital formats otherwise, and in many cases are considered “out of print” in the old dead-treehouse.

Personally, I find their loyalty commendable, and even a little misplaced. Especially considering your recent efforts to leash, collar, and cage them. They understand that while you are finally ready to move towards the digital house, you haven’t quite figured out all the nuances. They recognize that you think you must put your foot down and mark the boundaries of the house. But your collars chafe and your leashes choke whenever they try to move.

While they hold out hope that you will actually notice that they have been here for some time, that they might actually be able to offer up some advice about how to navigate the digital house without knocking it down, I can’t help but think they are being overly optimistic.

Sincerely,
Mr. Eighteen T. McThirtyfive

P.S.- These “anti-piracy” firms you hire to bring your lost demographic home- well, let’s just say they should stop lacing their treats with cyanide and razorblades. It isn’t very nice.